Eight Feelings Framework - Complete Reference

From "Strengthening Our Families" - Indigenous developmental psychology framework.

The Eight Stages/Feelings Model

The Eight Feelings are developmental stages that everyone passes through. Each stage has a healthy feeling that should develop during a specific age range, and an unhealthy outcome if that feeling is not properly established during its developmental window.

Visual Model

The framework is represented as a sun/circle with eight rays, with "Stages of Development" at the center and the eight feelings radiating outward:

           8. INTEGRITY
                 |
7. GENERATIVITY  |  1. TRUST
                \|/
    6. INTIMACY -O- 2. AUTONOMY
                /|\
    5. IDENTITY  |  3. INITIATIVE
                 |
        4. ACCOMPLISHMENT

The Eight Stages in Detail

1-Trust (First Year)

Age: First year of life

The first is Trust and it is the feeling an infant must have during its first year in order to have a healthy development.

Healthy development: Trust includes tender loving care and bodily contact. The infant must know that people are good and trustworthy and that the world is a good place that he or she can trust.

Out-of-harmony: But if trust is missing, then there is an out-of-harmony, unhealthy development of mistrust. Mistrust may lead to family breakup or parental rejection or withdrawal later in life. There will be the strong feeling that the world is not safe. Mistrust leaves us unable to develop close relationships.

2-Autonomy/Independence (Second Year)

Age: Second year of life

The second is autonomy or independence, and for in-harmony, healthy development, a baby must experience INDEPENDENCE during the second year of its life.

Healthy development: The feeling of independence says, "I love this world and want all it offers." The child must be encouraged to become its own being through exploration and independence. It must not be over controlled by its parents.

Out-of-harmony: If autonomy is missing, then the out-of-harmony development leads to shame and doubt. In later life, they may be fearful or ashamed of themselves. They may become an over controlling parent because they were over controlled by their parents. Having this feeling allows us to make healthy decisions and choices. If we have not developed this feeling, we will be wishy-washy. We will tend to let other people make our decisions.

3-Initiative (3-7 Years)

Age: Between 3-7 years

The third stage takes place between 3-7 years and it is a time when Initiative must be encouraged for healthy development to take place.

Healthy development: Initiative supports active imagination, role playing and pretending, and a healthy testing of the boundaries between imagination and reality.

Out-of-harmony: If the third feeling of Initiative doesn't take place properly, then an out-of harmony-condition of guilt will take hold in the child. A guilty person has often been told, "...don't be silly, and grow up." They feel foolish for using their imagination and may live in fantasy and daydreams in later life. They have been shamed, and it has a negative effect on how they are in later life.

4-Accomplishment (8-11 Years)

Age: Between 8-11 years old

The fourth stage takes place when a person is between 8-11 years old and it is called Accomplishment.

Healthy development: In order for accomplishment to take place, a young person must learn to feel good for something, and good at doing something. They need to receive praise and recognition for their accomplishments.

Out-of-harmony: If someone growing up doesn't get the feeling or stage of accomplishment, they will take on the unhealthy developmental state of low self-esteem. They might later be an overly critical parent and go on to lack self-confidence.

5-Identity (12-18 Years)

Age: Between 12-18 years of age

The fifth stage is called Identity and takes place in the age group of 12-18 years of age.

Healthy development: To have in-harmony identity behaviors, a young person must learn to belong and to be somebody while in this age group. They need to get attention and praise for things done well. It is in this age group that they will begin to develop answers to the three questions, Who am I?, Why am I here?, Where am I Going?

Out-of-harmony: If there is unhealthy development in this age group, then the out-of-harmony condition of inferiority takes place. Inferiority brings lack of self worth, low self esteem, with possible depression, suicide attempts and addictions.

6-Intimacy (19-30 Years)

Age: Between 19-30 years of age

The sixth stage takes place in the young adult in the age group of 19-30 years of age. It is called Intimacy.

Healthy development: In order to have healthy intimacy in life, a person must learn to share ideas with friends, as well as openly sharing his or her innermost thoughts and feelings. Healthy, in-harmony development at this stage also means that you are not worried too much about what others think of you.

Out-of-harmony: If we miss this stage, then the out-of-harmony condition of isolation takes place. Isolation is a cold place with the inability to share thoughts and feelings. This unhealthy development causes you to be unable to form and maintain close relationships, and to exhibit unreasonable fears of openness and disclosure.

7-Generativity (30-40 Years)

Age: Between 30-40 years of age

The seventh stage of development takes place in the age group of 30-40 years of age and is called Generativity.

Healthy development: Generativity means that a person is able to participate in unselfish giving and sharing with others. He or she can give to and guide others without looking for "what's in it for me?" The ability to be of service to others develops at this time. Generativity includes the ability to mentor people who will replace you.

Out-of-harmony: If a person misses this stage of development, stagnation then develops. A stagnant person is self-centered and self-seeking. They take from others and are overly materialistic.

8-Integrity (Remainder of Life)

Age: The remainder of a person's life

The Eighth stage of development takes place for the remainder of a person's life and is called Integrity.

Healthy development: To achieve and experience integrity, a person must become a mentally healthy adult. He or she must break away from parents and relate to them on an adult-to-adult level. In-harmony behavior at this stage involves seeing order and "worthwhileness," or value in the world. A person in this stage has a sense of his or her own values, rules and code of life.

Out-of-harmony: If integrity doesn't take place, then a person falls into despair and is plagued with fear and being judgmental. They feel the world is a bad place and may lack good values and conscience. They may feel fear and hopelessness. They may feel, "If only this had happened, then I would be..."

Reclaiming the Eight Stages or Feelings

Core teaching: We can get back the strength of the eight feelings even if we missed them growing up.

The traditional ceremonies were designed to awaken these eight feelings in tribal members. Our Circles of Recovery and Wellbriety can also help us get these feelings back. Returning to some of our traditional values (See Chapter 2) can also help. Sharing an intimate relationship, while keeping our spirit and intent aligned with the Red Road and the teachings of the Medicine Wheel and the 12 Steps, is another way. You can probably think of others.

Understanding Patterns Through the Eight Feelings

How does knowing about the Eight Stages help?

Here is an example. If a person doesn't have a particular Feeling, you'll see troublesome behavioral issues take place later on. In conflict resolution, we'll often see that what people say the conflict is about, is not really it. It might be they can't feel in one of these eight ways.

So, for example, suppose I have trouble with my close personal relationships. Suppose I can get just so close in a relationship before serious conflicts of different kinds break out, and I notice that this happens over and over for me. Sticking to the "facts" of the conflict in conflict resolution sessions might not help because the problem could be that I never got the feeling of Intimacy quite right in my own cycle-of-life and growing up. Perhaps the feeling of Intimacy is lacking because the basic feeling of Trust was stunted.

But the feelings of Trust and Intimacy can be re-learned when we're older by participating in our traditional Circles.

If you have a regular recovery circle going, you'll notice that you're learning the gifts of Trust and Intimacy as time goes on. This is also true for other feelings that we didn't get while growing up.

The Transformation

The main idea is that many of us in Indian country didn't grow up with these eight positive feelings. We grew up with them out-of-harmony, more like the eight negative feelings described. But the neat thing about [the framework is that these feelings can be reclaimed through ceremonial practice and community healing circles].

Integration with Ceremonial Practice

This framework is deeply connected to:

Medicine Wheel teachings
Red Road principles
12 Steps recovery work
Traditional ceremonies and protocols
Circle work and community healing

Usage for Self-Reflection

When examining your own development or current challenges:

Identify which feelings are strong - These are areas of healthy development
Identify which feelings are missing or weak - These point to developmental wounds
Notice patterns in current struggles - They may connect to specific missing feelings
Consider ceremonial approaches - Which ceremonies or circle work might help reclaim specific feelings
Practice patience and compassion - Reclaiming takes time and sacred practice